ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
Posts Tagged ‘Humour’
(I read this in TruckSpeaker)
Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal his mother couldn’t help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian’s roommate,Julie, was. His mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Julie, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Julie than met the eye.
Reading his mom’s thoughts, Brian volunteered, “I know what you are thinking, but I assure you Julie and I are just roommates.”
About a week later, Julie came to Brian saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner I’ve been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle my grandmother gave me. You don’t suppose she took it,do you?”. Brian said, “well I doubt it, but I’ll send her an e-mail just to be sure.
So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mom:
I’m not saying that you “did” take the gravy ladle from the house, I’m not sayung you “did not” take the gravy ladle. But, the fact remains, One has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love: Brian
Several days later Brian received an email back from his mom.
She wrote:
Dear Brian:
I’m not saying that you “do” sleep with Julie, I’m not saying you “don’t” sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if Julie were sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.
Love: Mom
Have a great week, and KEEP on TRUCKIN’
It has been a busy week at work. It has been left to me to catch up on about 3 months worth of damage claims. Wow, what a chore that is.
At lunch and over a beer after work I have been scanning the newspapers and catching up on what’s new around town, the pronvince, the country and the world. There is a pile of newspaper clippings sitting next to my computer waiting to be blogged about. Some of them really make me angry, others just make me sick.
Oh yeah, and the Oilers are kicking some serious pre-season ass. They currently boast 4 out of five wins!! Let’s Go Oilers!
So, this weekend I will blog!! In the meantime, this cracked me up!!
A young boy went to his father and asked,” What’s
the difference between Potentially and Realistically?”
The father answered, “Go ask your mother if she
would sleep with Denzel Washington for one million dollars.
Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Justin Timberlake for one million dollars. Then come
back and tell me what you have learned.
So the boy went to his mother and asked, “Would you
sleep with Denzel Washington for one million dollars?”
The mother replied, “Of course I would. I wouldn’t pass up an opportunity like that!”
Then the boy went to his sister and asked, “Would
you sleep with Sean ‘Puffy’ Combs for one million
dollars?”
The girl replied, “Oh my gosh! I’d be nuts to pass that up!”
The boy thought about it and went back to his dad.
His father asked him if he’d found out the difference
between “potentially and realistically.”
The boy replied, “Yes. ‘Potentially’ we’re sitting
on two million dollars, but ‘realistically’ we’re living
with two ho’s.
Thanks Amanda!
